The Best of We Need Not Walk Alone
Every month, TCF features a selected story from an early issue of TCF's national award winning publication We Need Not Walk Alone. We also include a past column from the popular WNNWA "Ask Dr. Paulson," which answers questions related to sibling grief and its effect on the family. We Need Not Walk Alone is available by subscription or with any patron level donation.
"Why We Come"
By Dr. Richard Dew (This story was printed in We Need Not Walk Alone after last year's TCF National Conference in Arlington, VA)
The mind does strange things.
As I sat at the opening ceremony, enthralled by the Love in Motion signing choir's moving rendition of the National Anthem, I was transported back in time. It was 1967, shortly before our deployment to Vietnam. I stood at attention with 500 Marines as the National Anthem introduced a film, Why We Fight. Some version of this has been shown to four generations of young men about to be sent into harm's way. Its purpose was to explain to us why we were there and what we were fighting for.
The crowd's applause snapped me back into the present. I looked around at the throng of people-many with small red hearts, butterflies or various ribbons on their nametags-and I wondered, "Why are we here?" I spent the better part of the next two-and-a-half days trying to discover Why We Come.
(The Best of) Ask Dr. Paulson
Mary A. Paulson, PhD, is a bereaved sibling as well as a child and adolescent psychologist at Harding Hospital in Worthington, Ohio. Her question and answer column, aimed at bereaved siblings and the family that loves them, has appeared in TCF's national magazine, We Need Not Walk Alone, for the past 15 years.
Q. My older brother, Brian, died in an accident that took place 20 years ago. He was only 12 years old. There are two surviving siblings-myself and my brother Daniel, who is now 35. In many ways, I feel like it is my destiny to preserve the memory of my brother Brian. However, Daniel is afraid to dig deep into the past because he is afraid of the emotions that will resurface. I've been looking through and scanning the photos, and I have to admit that dealing with the topic is like dealing with the most powerful and sad of all human emotions. Even today the feelings overwhelm me. I want to put together some sort of online memorial for my brother and possibly a memorial foundation down the road, but I really need some advice in terms of how to handle and introduce this discussion to the other members of my family. Part of me gets scared by the emotions that will resurface and the other part thinks that I can do something very beautiful that would touch anyone's inner soul. I would really appreciate any suggestions as I try to make this important decision.
A. You sound like the brave soul who chooses to mention the pink elephant standing in your living room that everyone else is struggling desperately to avoid seeing . . .
Interested in Starting a TCF Chapter?
If your area is not currently served by a chapter of The Compassionate Friends, you may be able to start one, a truly gratifying experience. For information on how to go about starting a chapter, visit
Online Support Community
If you are seeking grief support on the web, The Compassionate Friends Online Support Community (OSC) gives you the opportunity to meet with others who are also grieving the death of a child.
There are OSC rooms for: Parents/Grandparents; Siblings; Pregnancy/Infant loss; Bereaved Two Years and Under; Bereaved Two Years and Over; Men Only; No Surviving Children; and Survivors of Suicide.
All rooms have trained moderators.
OSC: More than just a chat!
Grief in the News
Did you know that TCF's national website has a "Grief in the News" page that links with more than 100 stories published in the media? To view the stories, visit "Grief in the News."
Quote of the Month
"I wanted the clocks to stop ticking and the world to stop spinning until this terrible mistake could be corrected."
~ Marilyn Inman,
bereaved parent, posted on TCF/USA
Remember when clicking on a link below that takes you to the National Site, You must click on the Return Arrow up in the Left Hand corner of your window to come back to this page in the Pekin's Web Site... Thank You.
Compassionate Friends Brochure Program Needs Your Support!
Did you know that you have the opportunity to sponsor a TCF brochure in memory of a special child in your life or that of someone you know?
TCF currently has 31 brochures on many different topics related to the death of a child. All brochures are constantly reviewed and updated. When brochures are reprinted, 5,000 are printed and sponsors help to fund this important program.
Learn more about this wonderful brochure program and how you can support it visit the brochure section on the TCF website. A brochure sponsorship is $500 and a sponsorship line showing that the brochure was sponsored by you in loving memory of a specific child will be included. You may also request to be put on the waiting list for sponsorship of a specific brochure.
View the complete line of Compassionate Friends brochures.
National Office Now Has Facebook Site!
Social media is the new forefront of communications with those of similar interests and TCF is proud to announce the addition of a Facebook Page with which the National Organization can communicate information instantly with members. TCF's Facebook Page premiered in June and its fan base grows daily--now at more than 1100. We hope you will visit our Facebook Page, review the many posts we and our members have made and become a Fan. It's easy to do, even if you have never belonged to Facebook. Click on the word Facebook. We look forward to your input!
January 29, 2011 marked the 42nd anniversary of The Compassionate Friends worldwide. TCF/USA has been serving bereaved families for more than 30 years and with your support, we'll be around for many many more years. If you're not familiar with the history of The Compassionate Friends and its jump across the ocean, we hope you'll take a few minutes to read "The Story of The Compassionate Friends."
Your Donation to TCF Can Be Doubled!
The Compassionate Friends Board of Directors is kicking off TCF's holiday appeal through a special donation that has created a Matching Grant of $30,000. Every board member has contributed to this Challenge Grant and we are asking for your support so we can double this amount (through the match) and go into the new year with the funds necessary to support the many programs provided nationally by the organization. All donations are tax deductible.
"This is a wonderful opportunity for us to go into the new year with the possibility of being able to maintain most if not all of our programs despite the current economic times," says Patricia Loder, executive director of The Compassionate Friends.
You can make a donation here and under "comments" mark "matching grant donation." Your support is greatly appreciated!
TCF Wins $25,000 in Chase Community Giving Program/Finishes 53rd Out of 500,000 Eligible Charities!
With less than $1 million income annually, The Compassionate Friends may be a relatively small nonprofit when compared to many of the other 500,000 charities in the Chase Community Giving $5 million Challenge that ended last week. But with a big heart, the organization's members and friends ended up voting TCF 53rd out of the program's original 500,000 eligible nonprofits.
"Thank you so much to all those who voted for The Compassionate Friends in the first or second rounds," said executive director Patricia Loder. "And, for those who could not find the strength to vote at this difficult time of the year, we truly understand."
In the first round, our organization was awarded $25,000 as a top 100 votegetter among the eligible nonprofits (under $10 million annual income). In the second round, TCF finished a week of voting January 22 at 53rd. While TCF was not successful in receiving an additional award either in the 2nd Round or in $1 million in discretionary funding awarded by the Chase Community Giving board, the original $25,000 award helped tremendously since TCF, as with most nonprofits, has had an unfortunate drop in donations.
Thank you to all our members, friends, and supporters! We couldn't have done it without you!!
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Also, thank you to the following companies and organizations for supporting TCF in the Chase Community Giving Program by sending out an e-newsletter or e-mail blast in support of TCF:
ADEC
Centering Corporation
Cherokee Caskets
Fusion 92
Keep Kids Alive Drive 25
Healing the Grieving Heart
Heavilin Herald
Hospice Foundation of America
National Funeral Directors Association
Pfizer Corporation
Twinless Twins
Hospice Foundation of America Webinars
Help Children Cope with Grief and Loss
Hospice Foundation of America (HFA) is presenting a webinar series, hosted by Kenneth Doka, Sr., Bereavement Consultant to HFA, on helping children and adolescents deal with grief and loss.
Over 1.8 million children are dealing with the loss of a sibling. To learn more, call HFA at 800-854-3402 or visit webinar information.
Shop iGive
When you join iGive.com. and name The Compassionate Friends as your designated charity, every purchase you make from their online mall with more than 700 stores, will help The Compassionate Friends. As much as 26% of your purchase price will be donated to TCF. In addition, $5 will be donated to TCF for every person who registers and then makes a purchase online within 30 days.
When bereaved parents are asked their greatest fear, you're likely to hear they're most afraid that their child will be forgotten.
The Compassionate Friends is always seeking new ways to better serve our membership. With that thought in mind, we've struck a partnership that will allow you a way to permanently remember your child, sibling, or grandchild with an online Memorial Website.
When I viewed some existing memorial websites that had been created by moms, dads, grandparents, and siblings, a sense of peace ran through me as I realized this could truly be a place where I could come to remember my children--to look upon their pictures, read notes from their friends, listen to their favorite music, and reflect upon their importance in my life.
I hope you'll check out some of the remembrance websites and imagine the possibilities.
Patricia Loder
Executive Director
A Memorial Website to Remember A Child, Sibling, or Grandchild Makes a Great Gift!
The Compassionate Friends is pleased to offer you the opportunity through a partnership with premier Internet memorial website Legacy.com for you, your friends, and family to remember and pay tribute to a special child online. These memorial websites are really easy to make (you can create one in as little as five minutes--or you to be as creative as you wish), giving you a timeless and touching site for you, family, and friends to remember and honor the child you miss, but will always remember.
To review a couple of websites on Legacy.com, created by bereaved parents, please visit http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/BlakeMcKenzieHarris/homepage.aspx (created and sponsored by Blake Harris' Dad) and http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/SNOOKIE/homepage.aspx (created and sponsored by Samantha Davis' Mom).
When you enter through our portal, a portion of the proceeds from the memorial website you create will go to support The Compassionate Friends and its many national programs designed to aid families going through the natural grieving process following the death of a child. We are currently offering you a FREE 14 day trial and, for a limited time, you'll receive 25% off your first year sponsorship of your site! For more information and to start creating your site, please visit Create a Memorial Website!
You may want to keep in mind that the memorial website you create can make a
make a wonderful gift!
Thank you for taking a moment to learn about these great online memorial websites. We hope you'll use the free 14 day trial and see how easy it is to create a quality online memorial website for a child who will always be loved, missed, and remembered.
Sincerely,
The Compassionate Friends
Apply for TCF Visa Platinum Credit Card and Help Us with $50 First Purchase Bonus!
Designed to promote awareness of the organization and to help as a fundraiser, The Compassionate Friends invites you to apply for your own Compassionate Friends Capital One Platinum Visa Credit Card.
After you've applied, been approved, and made your first purchase, The Compassionate Friends will receive a $50 contribution from Capital One. In addition, as you use the card, TCF will receive a percentage of every purchase. There are three great branded designs to show your support of The Compassionate Friends. When you use one of TCF's designs, every time you pull out your card and make a purchase, someone will learn about The Compassionate Friends. If you prefer, you can custom design your own card with a picture of your child, giving you an opportunity every time you shop to talk about your special child.
For more information on this opportunity to support the organization that has, itself, brought support to so many bereaved families, please visit The Compassionate Friends Visa Card.
The Open to Hope Show
The Open to Hope Show, with the same great hosts has now replaced the popular Healing the Grieving Heart. The web radio show features experts who discuss the many aspects of grief, with a main focus on the death of a child and its effects on the family. Learn more and see details about the June's shows
The Compassionate Friends recommends this show as a grief/loss resource.
"Sponsor the National Office for a Week"
The many services provided by the National Office are free to all who need them. To support our many initiatives, TCF is rolling out a new program that provides you the opportunity to "Sponsor the National Office for a Week." Up to four sponsors will be accepted for each week during the year at $150 each. Sponsors will have their names and the children in whose memory the sponsorship is made on the "Sponsor the National Office for a Week" page on the national website. Visit this page for full details!
Books and Magazines Available
Many resources are offered through the national office to aid grieving families and the people who care about them. Please visit the National Web page here.....
Recently we added a new brochure "To the Newly Bereaved" to the many brochures we have available in support of our membership. To read this brochure, visit "To the Newly Bereaved". It is also available in Spanish at Para los recién en duelo... Cuando tu hijo o hija muere.
